I haven't blogged in a while. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about or that I haven't had the time. The truth is is that my life went into transition and I wasn't ready to talk about much of anything until things settled down. Here is a tiny excerpt from my first blog which kinda gives you an idea of where this all began: "I had to say goodbye to the AD (assistant director in the film/tv industry in Vancouver) world. I was no longer an AD. I was scared to acknowledge that the career that I had known my entire adult life was finished. I hated that all I had worked up to until now was over. They say that over the course of your life, you’ll change your career 5 times. I don’t know who “they” are, but they forgot to mention how scary and emotionally hard it would be."
And now you join me at the point of my life when things have not only leveled out, but finally are moving onward and upwards. Yay! After a lot of discussion, emotional anxiety, red tape, studying (with lots of coffee), taking exams, and time wasted, I am now a provincially licensed General Insurance Broker with the Insurance Brokers' Association. Translation: I do auto, home and business insurance. Hmm... just a tiny change from working with celebrities, explosions and people leaping off buildings!
I was extremely apprehensive about the career change ("Am I really going to do car insurance for the rest of my life?!?!"), but then THINGS began to happen. Awesome and wonderful things. For example; I wrote a short film, and with the help of some great friends, shot it within a couple of months (I'm very excited about it! I'll keep you posted as things progress. :D)! I began auditioning for parts in short films and plays and started getting cast (So far, I've been a drug dealer, a scientist, a casting director, and a townswomen). I did a photoshoot for a friends jewelry line (wow, lighting and the camera can make anyone pretty :P). I started taking an active role in my own physical health (translation: eating and sleeping better, working out, and losing weight. whoohoo!). I found the financial security (which I've always needed, not just wanted) and time that enabled me to pursue the creative side of me. Who knew?! Well... probably everybody but me. haha. I love making discoveries for myself. :)
So what does all this really add up to? Well, even though the road to a new anything is scary and filled with insecurity, making no move is worse. Being static, especially when it's a place of indecision and frustration, will most likely cause more heart ache and pain than exploring new territory. Every journey is an opportunity in which you can learn more about yourself and those around you. But not only that. It is an opportunity to challenge your beliefs and your morals, to be active and aware of why things are the way they are or why you do the things you do.
It is within our own power to choose. If the choices we make turns out to be the "wrong ones," we have the power and freedom to change our minds and choose differently, having learnt something on the way. We (who's biggest worry is having no internet at work, or that the Starbuck's line is too long, or the credit card bill that you haven't opened), are fortunate enough to be in a place where we CAN make choices. We forget that too many people, even here in Vancouver, don't KNOW that they have a choice. ANY CHOICE. It's crazy but having a choice is a luxury.
So now that you have this amazing gift, what will you do with it?
I say choose to be a good person even when you don't want to be. Choose to smile instead of scowl. Choose to open a door instead of closing it. Choose to strut instead of trudge, run instead of walk, sing instead of scream, praise instead of insult or reprimand. Choose to be alive in uncertainty instead of dead in complacency. Make the decision that every moment is a moment worth treasuring because your lungs breath, your heart beats and your mind creates. You make a difference in the world just by being in it. More than anything, choose to help because you can. Yourself and others.
How lucky are we? Wow.